return my video game
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
