Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
