i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize