Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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