No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
lol hangovers are for mortals.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize