Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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