My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
