there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
