He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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