So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Randomize
