Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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