we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
