just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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