I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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