i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
