I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
