Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
