every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Randomize
