like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
