So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
