i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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