Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
