I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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