This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
