so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
