GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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