just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize