I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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