you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
