my room smells like sperm. sweet.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
