I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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