Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
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just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
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Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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