would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
And then my night got REAL pukey
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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