so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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