After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
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