Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
