so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
