alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
