I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
