You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
