Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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