I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
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I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
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Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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