Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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