Who wears a wallet chain?!
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
