you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
