bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
