dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
