remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
When are your genitals available?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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