so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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