just tell him i said nine months
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
