so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
