I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
