apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
