just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
