I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
