we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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