so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize