Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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