so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
