Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
