worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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