did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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