The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
