I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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