One girl and one boy is just not enough.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
