you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
My vagina is very pro this idea
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize