the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
