I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Randomize
